


i hate you; don't leave me

by ksootaeho



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, College, Fluff and Angst, M/M, One Shot, Songfic, Tsunderes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-07
Updated: 2020-05-07
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:08:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24049462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ksootaeho/pseuds/ksootaeho
Summary: Kyungsoo hates Baekhyun. He truly does. He tries so hard to, honestly...but love and hate are separated by a very fine line.
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Do Kyungsoo | D.O
Comments: 10
Kudos: 77





	i hate you; don't leave me

**Author's Note:**

> a fic i wrote years ago that I'm editing and transferring over from AFF. enjoy.
> 
> written (and edited) with "I hate you, don't leave me" by demi lovato on repeat, but if you wanted to add in "like I need u" by keshi, it wouldn't hurt.

_i admit...i'm in (and out) of my head_

Writing papers is something Kyungsoo prides himself on, something he’s perfected over his schooling years, and it’s also something he’s learned to make money on in his college years. Seeing as he’s too socially awkward (more like socially _angry_ ; every person on the planet seems to piss him off) to get a job, he started charging other students with a lot less dedication than himself way more than he should to write their papers for them.

It had begun his second year in college, and it had brought someone into his life that he can’t and will never be able to decide if he loathes or adores.

Baekhyun is older than him, if only by a year, but the immature fuck insists on being called “hyung.” He has honey blonde hair that Kyungsoo thinks suits him better than his natural color ever would and a smile that could make any man or woman’s knees weak. His smile is countered by an incredibly obnoxious laugh that makes Kyungsoo want to strangle the nearest living creature while also planting awkward butterflies in his stomach.

When Baekhyun leans his head on Kyungsoo’s shoulder and begs him for another paper on a discount, Kyungsoo wants to slap him, but he also wants to run his hands in Baekhyun’s hair and just let the older boy stay there for a while. Baekhyun has a pout that melts Kyungsoo’s heart while also having the uncanny ability to bring bile to his throat and Kyungsoo has never met a person that conflicts with his emotions more than _Byun Baekhyun_.

“How did you get so smart, ‘Soo-yah?” Baekhyun is draped over the back of Kyungsoo’s desk chair in the younger’s dorm room, arms wrapped around Kyungsoo’s neck, and Kyungsoo can’t remember when Baekhyun had started overseeing Kyungsoo writing his papers, but he’s not complaining. He also has a strong urge _to_ complain.

“It has nothing to do with being smart or not,” Kyungsoo responds, evenly, while staring at his laptop screen and typing away. “Writing papers is literally just looking up the information you need and presenting it how the professor wants. If it asks for an opinion, all it takes is reading an article online and choosing a side on the subject. You don’t even have to retain the information longer than the hour or two it takes you to write it.”

Baekhyun is silent a few moments, and Kyungsoo thinks he’s gotten out of this conversation for a while, but Baekhyun eventually speaks up again. “So you’re basically saying that you’re hustling me out of my money?”

Kyungsoo shrugs. “You’re the one that doesn’t want to do the work, yourself.”

“Yeah, but I also don’t want to spend all of my money having you write my papers for me.”

“So why _are_ you?”

The question hangs in the air for a few long moments, and Kyungsoo even stops typing. He doesn’t know what he expects, but half of him wants Baekhyun to just say that he’s lazy. The other half of him wants Baekhyun to say that he likes spending time with Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo thinks he might throw up from all the twisting in his stomach.

Baekhyun unwraps his arms from Kyungsoo and moves in front of the younger boy, leaning against the desk and shrugging all too casually. Kyungsoo fights both not to roll his eyes and melt into a puddle in his chair. “I was hoping since I’m the only customer that you treat _not_ like a customer, that I could get a discount...or something.” The older boy tucks his lower lip between his teeth, deeply golden eyes averting from Kyungsoo’s wide gaze and Kyungsoo has to use every fiber in his being to keep himself from smacking Baekhyun and telling him to fucking stop.

Instead, he raises a questioning brow, leaning back in his seat and crossing his arms over his chest. “And what makes you think I don’t treat you like everyone else I write papers for?”

At this, Baekhyun’s lips turn up into a smirk and his eyes find Kyungsoo’s again. “Because both Chaneyol and Sehun asked me why I’m always at your room when all they do is drop off their assignment and the money with you.” These words catch Kyungsoo off guard because he has absolutely no clue why Baekhyun ever sticks around when he brings Kyungsoo a new assignment for him to do. He also has no clue why he _lets_ Baekhyun stick around for longer than necessary. “So, can I get a discount? Or maybe I can pay you some other way.”

Kyungsoo finds himself licking his lips as he stares at Baekhyun’s own absently. “How else are you going to pay me?” Although, he had a clue.

Thirty seconds later, Kyungsoo is shoving Baekhyun out of his dorm room after he let himself actually _enjoy_ Baekhyun kissing him.

Baekhyun is so loud and obnoxious, it’s disgusting. He walks around campus howling in gross laughter with his friends (mainly the tall one, Chanyeol), and Kyungsoo crinkles his nose in repulse every time he sees it. This time, though, he can’t just sit back and seethe, as much as he wants to.

He strides up to Baekhyun and shoves his finished paper into the elder’s chest, cutting Baekhyun off from his coyote laughter. He doesn’t look back as Baekhyun calls for him, and he definitely walks a little faster when he hears Chanyeol telling Baekhyun, “paper boy has a nice ass.”

There are several loud knocks to his dorm room door and Kyungsoo knows Jongin isn’t going to get it, as he’s too engulfed in whatever video game he was playing. He thinks it must be important with how late it is, so Kyungsoo puts his book down and doesn’t bother to remove his large, round glasses before opening the door.

He’s met with Baekhyun stumbling into his room, and Kyungsoo has to catch the elder boy’s arms to keep him from falling face-first into the floor. He reeks of alcohol and a little of weed; Kyungsoo crinkles his nose.

“What the fuck are you doing here, Baekhyun? It’s nearly 2 am,” he snaps, but his hands tell another story, gently holding Baekhyun still so he didn’t topple over. “Did I mess up your paper? What grade did you get?”

“Why aren’t you talking to me?” Baekhyun slurs his words, his breath fanning across Kyungsoo’s neck as he leans onto the younger boy. It smells awful. It sends a chill down Kyungsoo’s spine. “Is it because I haven’t paid you yet? Look, I’ll pay you right now, okay? Just let me...” He trails off as he drops to his knees on the floor, fingers fumbling with the hem of Kyungsoo’s sleep pants to try and pull them down, but Kyungsoo is quick to grab Baekhyun’s wrists and stop him. He’s sure his face is flushed a deep red and he knows his eyes are wide and he can also feel Jongin’s eyes on them. He wants to sink into the floor, or maybe let Baekhyun finish what he was about to do.

Kyungsoo pulls Baekhyun to his feet again, not missing the whine that leaves the elder’s throat, or the way it made his own cock twitch to life between his legs. “You’re drunk, Baekhyun, please go to your own room.” He starts to push Baekhyun to the door, but somehow, Baekhyun is stronger than him even while intoxicated.

“My room doesn’t have you in it,” Baekhyun replies, grinning wide, and Kyungsoo is disgusted.

“Seriously? I have a roommate, Baekhyun, and I’m pretty sure Jongin doesn’t want to be kept awake all night by your annoying whining.”

“I actually think this is pretty hilarious,” Jongin speaks up for the first time since Kyungsoo had gotten back to the room, and Kyungsoo wants to literally strangle him with the chord of the game controller he’s using. “You never told me you had a boyfriend.”

“I _don’t_ have a fucking boyfriend and if I did? It wouldn’t be _him_ ,” Kyungsoo jerks Baekhyun to emphasize his words, and when he looks back to the elder, that incredibly annoying pout is in place on perfectly pink lips. Kyungsoo wants to slap Baekhyun’s mouth, or maybe kiss it.

“So he didn’t just try to suck your dick?”

Jongin is dumb. So dumb, dumb dumb _dumb_.

“Look, just go back to your game and let me deal with him, okay? He’s just someone I write papers for, that’s _it_.” Kyungsoo is pulling on his shoes as he speaks, and he’s dragging Baekhyun out of the room as soon as they’re on, but he doesn’t miss the incredulous “yeah, okay” from Jongin just before he shuts the door.

Kyungsoo walks in the direction that he thinks Baekhyun’s dorm room is in, Baekhyun’s arm hitched around his shoulders to support the elder’s weight as he attempted to walk, and not stumble. “I think you’re really cute, Kyungsoo. I think you’re really, really, _really_ cute.” Baekhyun’s breath smells absolutely rancid but his words make Kyungsoo’s stomach do backflips. He doesn’t understand why.

“Where’s your room?” Kyungsoo ignores what Baekhyun had said, and he doesn’t know if it was on purpose or not, but he really did need to know where Baekhyun’s room was.

Baekhyun whines, loud, into Kyungsoo’s neck, and he wraps his other arm around Kyungsoo’s shoulders, pulling him closer. Kyungsoo wants to throw up, he’s pretty sure. Baekhyun is disgusting, completely awful, and the fact that he had gotten drunk enough to stumble his way to Kyungsoo’s room to confess was also disgusting.

But Kyungsoo is enjoying himself. Why, he doesn’t know.

Baekhyun mumbles a number into his neck, and Kyungsoo finds it, peeling the elder’s body off of his and shoving him toward the door.

He tries to walk away, he really does. He gets five steps back down the hallway when he hears Baekhyun’s voice again, and it stills him.

“Will you please just stay with me, Kyungsoo? I don’t...I don’t want to be alone.”

Kyungsoo turns around, ignoring his entire body screaming at him to keep walking, and the completely defeated look on Baekhyun’s face is what has him striding back to the older boy.

He doesn’t know what makes him pull Baekhyun to him once the door is closed, and kiss him. He doesn’t think he’ll ever know.

Baekhyun’s breath is rancid, but Kyungsoo doesn’t mind.

Byun Baekhyun is a whirlwind of fleeting kisses and rushed handjobs, of blue hickeys and red scratches. Byun Baekhyun is also the last person that Kyungsoo should be involved with, and he still doesn’t know why he is in the first place. He craves Baekhyun’s presence but when he’s around him, Kyungsoo can’t stand him. He can’t stand how loud Baekhyun is, how much Baekhyun mocks him, and the fact that Baekhyun always insists on being called hyung. He also can’t stand how when Baekhyun laughs at his own terrible jokes, or smiles at him in the mornings while they wait for coffee, his own heart flutters in his chest, no matter how much he wills it to stop.

Kyungsoo forces himself to believe that the only thing Baekhyun is good for is sex.

The term “boyfriend” has never left Kyungsoo’s lips in reference to Baekhyun, and he doesn’t think it ever will, but there’s a small, dark part of him that wishes he could have a normal relationship with Baekhyun. He can’t, no matter how hard he tries. He hates Baekhyun, he really does, he hates when Baekhyun slaps his ass when they walk each other to class, he hates when Baekhyun tells other people “Kyungsoo is _mine_ ,” he hates every part of his relationship with Baekhyun. Kyungsoo doesn’t even consider it a relationship, it can’t be, not when one of the people involved loathes the other.

Right?

So why, if Kyungsoo hates Baekhyun with every fiber of his being, do his knees get weak and his stomach flip when Baekhyun kisses him and says, “you’re so beautiful, Kyungsoo.”

 _Why_?

“Do you think you can ever love me?”

Kyungsoo almost doesn’t catch it. He almost continues unbuttoning Baekhyun’s jeans, pressing hot lips down an equally hot neck while the elder is under him on Kyungsoo's bed. Baekhyun’s voice is a whisper and Kyungsoo is pretty sure the only reason the older boy is asking a question like that is that he’s drunk, so Kyungsoo only falters in his ministrations for a moment before electing to ignore it, hoping Baekhyun would be too immersed in Kyungsoo’s mouth attached to his neck to realize that Kyungsoo didn’t respond.

“Kyungsoo?” The faint question of his name from Baekhyun has Kyungsoo lifting his head to look at the other. Kyungsoo nearly faints at the sight of such a mixture of adoration and sadness in Baekhyun’s eyes. “Do you think--”

“I heard you the first time.” He hates the acid in his voice; he doesn’t know where it comes from or why it’s always directed at Baekhyun, but he absolutely _hates_ it.

Baekhyun swallows, lidded eyes shutting for a moment as he lets out a breath. Kyungsoo can’t help but think that he looks even more gorgeous in the low light coming from Kyungsoo’s desk lamp. “I really like you. I like you a lot, ‘Soo, and...we can have sex as much as we want but it’ll never be enough, for me. It just--”

“Stop,” Kyungsoo interrupts, again, licking his lips as he holds himself up above Baekhyun. His eyes search Baekhyun’s face, although he’s not sure what for. “It’s enough for me. So just stop.” He moves his mouth to Baekhyun’s neck again, teeth lightly nipping at jutting collarbones.

“So you’ll never love me? Ever? No matter how much time we spend together?”

There’s something in Baekhyun’s voice that causes Kyungsoo’s heart to begin to break into pieces, but he can’t tell Baekhyun what he wants to hear. He doesn’t know why. He just can’t.

“No, I won’t. I can’t. I don’t love you.” It’s an odd thing to say while he has Baekhyun’s clothed erection in his grip and his tongue on Baekhyun’s neck, but Kyungsoo was a complete and utter train wreck when it came to Baekhyun. Nothing ever made sense around him and Kyungsoo had a feeling it never would.

The next thing Kyungsoo knows is Baekhyun dressing himself quickly and slamming his dorm room door shut.

Kyungsoo didn’t think life could be any more annoying than it was with Baekhyun around, but he finds his life completely and utterly empty without Baekhyun in it.

That wretched, obnoxious laugh doesn’t seem so awful anymore, not when Kyungsoo hasn’t heard it for a week or two. The annoying way Baekhyun always tells Kyungsoo to call him hyung is something Kyungsoo misses and he wishes he doesn’t. He wishes Baekhyun could be erased from his life, memories along with him. He was much better before Baekhyun came along; he was more sane.

There’s an aching in his chest and throbbing in his head whenever he thinks about Baekhyun, which is often. He doesn’t even miss the sex, he doesn’t want it anymore, he just wants _Baekhyun_ and he can’t figure out why. It’s tearing him into pieces just trying to figure out why Baekhyun means so much to him when he knows he hates him. He has to hate him, there’s no other explanation for why Baekhyun ignites so much emotion in him, so much that he’s never felt before. Hatred and loathing had to be the only reasoning.

It _had_ to be.

He doesn’t know what he’s doing, really, when he’s banging on Baekhyun’s dorm room door at nearly two in the morning. He’s had about six too many beers that his tiny body can’t handle and when Baekhyun opens the door, Kyungsoo stumbles through, into Baekhyun’s arms.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Baekhyun asks, but Kyungsoo can barely even hear him over his own tears that he had no idea when he’d started shedding. Baekhyun brings him to the bed, shushing him, running fingers through his hair, and cooing soothing words in his ear until Kyungsoo isn’t crying so hard.

“I hate you, I hate you so much, why are you doing this to me? Don’t fucking leave me, Baekhyun, just don’t.” Kyungsoo isn’t even sure of what he’s saying because his head is swimming with not only all the alcohol he’d drank, but with Baekhyun’s proximity, Baekhyun’s fingers in his hair, lips on his head, _Baekhyun Baekhyun Baekhyun_. “I’m out of my fucking mind without you, I hate you so much, I swear I hate you so fucking much, Baekhyun...”

He’s too lost in the feeling of Baekhyun caressing his head to see the small smirk on the elder’s lips, but then Baekhyun is pressing his mouth firmly against Kyungsoo’s and Kyungsoo revels in the contact. His hands clutch at Baekhyun’s flimsy shirt, pulling Baekhyun closer, _needing_ Baekhyun closer. He feels more than hears himself moan, and everything after that is a blur of ripped clothing and lips on skin and _Baekhyun Baekhyun Baekhyun_.

Kyungsoo is frantic and drunk, clawing at Baekhyun for more every chance he got, but Baekhyun is soft and gentle. He prepares Kyungsoo with one, two, three lube-coated fingers until Kyungsoo is nothing but a pile of writhing body and a mess of needy groans. Kyungsoo begs, and Baekhyun kisses him as he enters, no doubt hearing all the breathed sighs of “please, Baekhyun, I need you” on Kyungsoo’s lips. He gives Kyungsoo time to adjust but Kyungsoo feels like he doesn’t need it, pushing his hips down in a fruitless attempt to fuck himself on Baekhyun’s cock. He whines, back arching, his entire body begging and craving and pleading for Baekhyun, all of Baekhyun.

The thrusts begin shallow, slow, caring. This isn’t the first time Baekhyun has fucked Kyungsoo but it’s the first time either of them feels like it’s finally _right_ , especially Kyungsoo, who was finally coming to terms with the fact that he actually _needs_ Baekhyun, and he wants him, too. It only took Baekhyun’s cock deep inside him and Baekhyun’s gentle kisses on his neck to make him realize it.

When they come, it’s Kyungsoo first, chanting Baekhyun’s name because it’s the only thing he knows at the moment. Baekhyun spills himself inside Kyungsoo and curses, riding out the waves of pleasure until both of them are oversensitive and panting.

Baekhyun pulls out of Kyungsoo with small kisses all over Kyungsoo’s chest and neck, then drops next to the younger boy, who feels like he’s in absolute bliss. He’s finally thinking clearly and it’s not just because the sex made him sober.

“Kyungsoo?” Baekhyun questions, and Kyungsoo almost doesn’t hear him through the tingling sensations of Baekhyun’s fingers trailing up and down his side.

“Hm?” is the only response he can give.

Baekhyun shifts to his side, chin in his palm, annoying smirk on his lips that Kyungsoo wants to smack--

“I hate you, too.”

Maybe not.


End file.
